Forgive them- even when they don’t deserve it. After all, that is the whole point of forgiveness; if they deserved it, there would not be much to forgive. C.S. Lewis wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” Perhaps you ask, “But why should I forgive them? They didn’t even say they were sorry. They are even likely hurt me again.” Actually, there are two main reasons why you should forgive people who do not deserve it.
Colossians 3:13 says, “…Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” You see, Christians are supposed Christ-like (Kind of obvious, I know). Christ forgave you for the wrong things that you did, and expects you to do the same for people who wrong you. Maybe you say, “But I’ve never done anything as bad as what that person did to me!” Maybe you have not, but God could say the same thing. Yet God still chooses to forgive us.
Holding grudges often ends up hurting you much more than it hurts the other person. Keeping all of your hurt inside tears away at your heart, leaving you scarred and weak- and the hurt only grows stronger if you do not forgive. I’m not writing this to trick you into doing the right thing, but rather I want you to know this so that you do not needlessly harm yourself. Forgive everything, the big things and the small things, because if you do not it’s only going to cause harm when you could be living without the burden of anger. Holding a grudge is like keeping a thorn stuck in your flesh, but once you have forgiven someone, you will find peace in your heart, and your wounds can begin to heal.
Maybe you want to forgive, and know you should, but you still say, “But I just can’t… I tried but it’s too hard…” That’s understandable, it’s okay. Really, you don’t have to do it, ask God to do it for you. Ask God to forgive them and help you forgive them. All you have to do is give it to God, all of your anger and hurt. He will take it for you and do the forgiving for you. If you keep giving it to God every time those emotions come rushing back, you will eventually find peace.
P.S. Sorry if this sounds too preachy… I just got to thinking about it. Not like I don’t have problems with grudges and all that too…I’m preaching to myself just as much as anyone else, haha